By Jarred Kibbey

I respect Woo Pig Foodie and The Mighty Rib’s opinion, but their recent “He Said, He Said” piece about Waffle House had some glaring deficiencies that I feel should be mentioned…

The time of their alleged visits

Lunch? Breakfast? Is Waffle House even open for those meals? I know they SAY they are a 24-hour establishment, but are they really? Waffle House should only be visited between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 5:00 a.m. These are peak times at Waffle House when the all-star culinary team is in the house,

Blood Alcohol Content

From all indication of the piece, it appears they were sober or at least had a BAC below a level for a prime Waffle House experience. Kevin mentioned that his meat was dense and salty and the bread was soaked in butter. Those are not comments that are made by a man who has the appropriate BAC to fully appreciate Waffle House cuisine.

No mention of what was being played on the jukebox

Ambience is a big part of the dining experience. The reader needs to know these things. Most Waffle House jukeboxes (or whatever you kids call those contraptions these days) come fully equipped with “Eye of the Tiger” for everyone’s listening pleasure. If this was not played at least once during the visit, it was a failure.

Chicken Melt

It is the best item on the menu. It is one of the finest sandwiches in all of the land. Buttery Texas toast with a grilled chicken breast covered in cheese and grilled onions. It isn’t going to win any awards for creativity, but it is freakin’ delicious. Pair this with a side of hash browns and it is a fine meal.