My feelings on barbeque might just surprise you!
Whenever someone asks me about the name of this blog, they immediately want to know my
level of love and expertise for all things barbeque.
In truth, I’m just not a big barbeque guy. Yesterday, however, I did find myself dining with some fellow foodies out in North Little Rock at the White Pig Inn. And while the food was merely good, nothing earth shattering–the company was great. This group clearly knew their way around smoked meats.
But it got me to thinking…why are my barbeque experiences so few and far between? Here’s what I came up with:
1. BBQ Burps What used to be a wonderful side effect is now a pesky problem. The good ol’ bbq burp…that not-so-subtle reminder throughout the day of a glorious meal gone by. Cherished by all, am I right? Not so much. My loving wife has the smelling sense of a rabid bloodhound and can typically detect a bbq burp from three rooms away.
2. Thirst Two hours post barbeque consumption is the official start of my massive water intake. Glass, after glass, after glass…followed by piss, after piss, after piss. It completely ruins my day and makes me feel like a 65-year-old man with an enlarged prostate.
3. Stank The best barbeque joints are the ones where the scent immediately smacks you in the face. The alluring aroma is as comforting as it is magnificent—but certainly a double-edged, smoky sword to the highest degree. Why? Because I end up wearing Brisket de Toilette for the rest of the day and that just ain’t cool.
4.Oh, What a Feeling One rib and a side of potato salad make me feel like Jabba the Hut for the next ten hours. How is this even possible?
5. The Washer When I eat barbeque, I get messy. And when I get messy, I wash my hands…again and again and again. What is it about that darn sauce and my cuticles? It’s like Cheetos to my fingertips, so damn hard to get out and just a constant poor hygiene reminder.
There you have it!