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The Junkie: Nachos at Fuddruckers

The Junkie: Nachos at Fuddruckers
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Monthly Feature
Fatty is back, delving into the world of fast food…one dish at a time!

In my last review I mentioned that I thought Taco Cabana’s nachos were, arguably, the best in town. One of the commenters (SirRon) mentioned I needed to try the “heaping” plate of nachos at Fuddruckers. Well, that is a request I’m always up to try.

As I arrived I went to the menu and couldn’t for the life of me see a nacho plate on there. I finally had to ask the counter if they indeed even offered them. She said they did and even pointed to it… on the “Starters” menu. Hmm. Next, she offered the choice of toppings: “chicken or chili.” What in the Hell?

Almost double the price for a combination nacho platter.

Now call me a nacho purist, but when I get nachos I want taco meat or beef fajita meat. The fact that they had neither wasn’t a good sign. I asked if I could get a combination of the two? She said of course, and then added $3.50 for the trouble. With a water my total went up to $9 for a silly plate of nachos. I was less than impressed to say the least. In the inherent words of GOB Bluth “Come on!”

When my order was called, my mind slightly changed and I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer size of this monstrosity. It was easily enough for two people. This is only a starter dish if you’re feeding a basketball team. I added some pico and jalapenos from the salsa bar and sat down to try it.

After my first bite, I knew I had made a huge mistake. The chips were far too thick for my liking, the cheese “sauce” was gummy enough to stick to the roof of my mouth (I’m sure it’s the same sauce they have at the salsa area) and the guacamole was bland and flavorless. When the best thing on a chip is the pico de gallo from the salsa bar, there are major issues.

But my biggest problem was when I tasted the meat on its own. Fuddruckers had simply sliced up a grilled chicken breast and a hamburger patty and thrown it on there. No additional seasonings or anything. In fact, my receipt even said “loaded chx nachos. Add 1/3 patty.” Why did they even call it “chili?” That’s the kind of thing I’d expect in Nebraska or Canada, but Texas? Really?

This is what I was left with...d@mn... my picture taking needs to improve.

Nutritionally this thing was a monster, as well. Nearly 1500 calories for either beef or chicken, 35 or 31 grams of fat, respectively, and a day and a half’s worth of sodium.

The biggest proof of its disappointment was I didn’t even bother with a to-go bag, which is typically unthinkable when I have so much food left over. I simply didn’t want anymore.

So do I recommend it? Unless you really think a Fuddrucker’s burger would really taste good on industrial tortilla chips, I would have to say no. The sad truth is that 15 years ago I would’ve said Fuddrucker’s was one of the best joints in town for good food and burgers, yet this was the 3rd consecutive disappointing visit. All in all, if you’re living in Houston these days, there are simply better options for everything on their menu. And that’s a shame.