Last Saturday morning, four dudes (myself included) jumped into a car and headed down to Dallas for a weekend filled with food gluttony. Make no mistake, we all ate a lot, but one member, Daniel F-ing Walker, truly separated himself from the group with his massive appetite. Here’s how his day went:

Dale’s Donuts (in Benton)
(1) buttermilk donut, (1) apple fritter and (12) donut holes

Commentary: Within 20 minutes of the start to our mini-vacation, the group was already in awe of Daniel’s greatness (insanity?). As you can see, he took down a face-sized fritter, along with a pile of holes.

CBD Provisions
(3) fried chicken legs, (1) bowl of mac and cheese, (1) cup of fried Brussels sprouts, (2) Dr. Peppers and random bites of cornbread and chili

Commentary: Pretty par for the course with Walker. He had gone 3+ hours without eating, so I knew he’d tear it up, without going too far. The problem? Within 30 minutes, we’d be at a pizza joint.

Cane Rosso
(1/2) of a 13-inch Neo-style pizza

Commentary: Dan didn’t overdo it at Cane Rosso. Granted, the thin pizza crust wasn’t loaded down with cheese. But the other toppings, like sausage, bacon, and mushrooms, were quite substantial. And half a pizza is still half a pizza … especially when you’ve consumed five donuts for breakfast.

Top Pot Doughnuts
(4) donuts and (1) apple fritter

Commentary: Complete insanity has set in. No, you’re not seeing things…we headed straight to the doughnut shop after Cane Rosso, where Dan took down even more donuts. “I have to have something sweet after a big meal.”

Whole Foods
(1) cherry vanilla soda and numerous samples of food

Commentary: During my 20-minute chair massage at Whole Foods (damn proud of it), Daniel took time to reflect on his day’s eating habits. While doing so, he crushed a soda and various food samples.

Tei-An
(1) dumpling, (3) pieces of sushi, (1/2) cup of soba noodles, (2) shrimp, mushrooms and (4) pieces of veggie tempura

Commentary: Pretty respectable dinner … maybe for someone who has eaten a VERY light breakfast and lunch. But, as you can see, that was not the case with Mr. Walker. At this point in the evening, he was starting to hate life. But not enough to miss out on…

Angry Dog
(2-3) cups of tortilla chips, (1/2) cup of salsa, (1/2) cup of queso, (3) Dr. Peppers

Commentary: Just a little snack, right? Wrong … that’s a lot of food for 10 p.m.

Fuel City Tacos
(3) street tacos, a few bites of a beef burrito, and (2) king-sized candy bars

Commentary: Hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little late night snack, is there?